


All the Hurt Inside

by noveltea



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Drabble, F/M, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-10
Updated: 2010-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-10 11:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/99450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noveltea/pseuds/noveltea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deanna has her very own Guardian Angel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Hurt Inside

**Author's Note:**

> Written for jenab's fandom_stocking (livejournal).

When Castiel showed up in front of her in the middle of a deserted park, Deanna was so drunk she was struggling to remember exactly how she'd ended up there. She thought it had something to do with Sam being self-righteous. Or maybe she'd been the one who was being self-righteous. Whatever the case, she could see in the angel's eyes that he wanted to start preaching to her about all the sins she was undoubtedly committing by just still breathing.

His words fell on deaf ears when her stomach turned on her and she threw up dinner and lunch and too much vodka. She hadn't realised she'd been crying until warm fingers wiped away tears and pulled her hair back off her face.

They must have made an odd scene, in the near-darkness. A young woman, just this side of hysterical, and a man crouching down beside her.

She realised he was speaking to her, whispering in her ear words she didn't understand. She barely recognised the language – it sounded Latin, but she couldn't be certain. Whatever he said, she felt warmth spread through her body. She felt herself come back.

Deanna sniffed, hating the weakness she was exhibiting. Once, a long time ago now, she had been much better at hiding it. But everything had changed and she was struggling to find the same balance she once had.

She wanted to turn her head into the crook of his neck and just breathe. Sins, she reminded herself. 'Do not lust after angels while drunk,' came to mind, along with the prospect of a very special Hell. But just the very thought of Hell found her gasping for breath as though air was a rare commodity.

She had no idea how long they stayed like that. Her tears dried, leaving her cheeks itchy and her skin blotchy. Her hair was a tangled mess and she knew she had to have smelt of stale cigarette smoke and alcohol. Castiel hadn't moved, just held her like she would have fallen to pieces.

She just might have.

Closing her eyes, she took one deep breath, concentrating on stopping her body from shaking. Without opening her eyes, she whispered, "I thought you weren't my own guardian angel." It wasn't a rebuke; it wasn't even a challenge. She barely recognised her own voice.

He was silent. Then, "No one should shoulder the burdens of the world around them alone." His voice was secure, steady, unlike her own shaky whisper. "You were brought back for a purpose, Deanna. My purpose to help you succeed."

Her fingers clutched at his arm. "I don't think this was in your job description," she muttered, earning a genuine laugh. It was warm, and much like his whispered words, his laughter helped heal a little part of her.

He didn't say anything. He just held her, firm and gentle.

And for the first time, in a long time, she felt safe.


End file.
